The Power of Relationships
A couple weeks ago I was at a conference at Lake Retreat. They had two workshops and I was drawn to the one on nutrition and diet. I was in for something I didn’t expect. The guest speaker was Pastor Ken Andrews from Pasadena. He was a contestant on the TV show The Biggest Loser. I don’t watch this show so I know very little about it, but I was fascinated with his story. When he showed up at the ranch he was 377 pounds, but he said the reason he went was for his son. At 21 years of age he was over 400 pounds. Pastor Ken didn’t want him to go through the same tough things he experienced. What he came to discover, however, was that he was really there for himself.
Ken got permission to run behind the rest of the group so he could spend time with God. God began to speak to him and he began a journey of healing.
Ken explained a heartbreaking incident that took place when he was just a young child, about 4. It was an incident that Ken had all but forced himself to forget. And he ate to cover it up. The deep psychological work that the contestants do at the ranch helped him unearth the painful memory.
"I witnessed my mother being raped, and it was a brutal attack," Ken said. Ken, who was also beaten by the assailant, said the attack took place on a military base, when his father was stationed overseas. The assailant remarked that the father was not there -- which makes Ken think that the attacker was a military man. Ken said the attack sent his mother into a deep depression, and she never spoken of the incident again. Ken added that he is no longer willing to keep such things secret. When something is bothering him, or he is troubled by a memory, he is going to talk about. (From LA Times, April 20, 2011)
Ken experienced a moment of transformation, that introduced a journey of healing. This is a lot like the journey of faith that we all have. Many of us have had a moment of clarity, some of us with great emotion as in the case of Ken, but it has brought into our lives a change of direction. It was some kind of encounter with God that brought about a transformation. But what we have all discovered is that the hard work of character change takes a lifetime.
Ken said very little exercise, diet, and nutrition in his talk, yet along with the transforming work of God in his life he began this journey of change through exercise, diet, and proper nutrition in an environment of people who were close enough to him to speak into his life.
I asked him in the Q and A about diets. He said he really didn’t recommend any diet, but rather to just start eating right. He was concerned about the fact that so often people regain weight because they can’t live on a special diet for the rest of their lives. They need to eat better and invite people into the journey with them. The support of others made such a differenct to Ken in his journey.
God may meet us in a Sunday morning service when we all gather together, but the hard work of change happens in the context of relationships. It is why we strongly encourage you to be a part of a small group and in a mentoring relationship with another Christ follower.
Primary relationships is where all this discipleship stuff is worked out. We may be able to fool many people out there about how great we are as people of character because we know how we should act and we can do it an hour at a time, but it is hard to fool the people who are closest to us.
We can attempt great things for God out in the world, but if our primary relationships are not in order we are in trouble.